- woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting relatives stay over.
- is going to buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Joshua and sell it for $10, to make of prophet!
- was gonna donate blood until the lady got all personal and started asking "who's blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
- just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987
- wonders how much milk do I add to baby powder to make a baby?
- wonders why are the people who tell you to calm down always the ones who ticked you off in the first place?
- can't stand it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus
- was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- thinks that If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
- She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons
